Tiger Philosophy lesson 162: When we came to Holland!

TP 162 gastarbeidersIn the previous 35 years or so sins we came to Holland much has changed. We came here not because we were kings among people, but to find the promised paradise. We came here as  second class citizens, that is how we felt and that is how we were treated.

 

What we saw! we saw beautiful streets, we saw spotless roads, we saw  fairness and just in the society, we saw respect for  life, we saw equal opportunities, we saw an organized state, law and order, we saw non corrupt government, we saw a great medical care,  we saw freedom of thinking and speech, we saw independent women, we saw naked women on the beach, we even saw 2 men getting married, we saw people who did not believe in god, we saw nightclubs, we saw people drinking alcohol openly, we saw being direct was more important than being nice, we saw different  ethnic groups living to gather, we saw how well the animals were treaded…TP 162 culture shock

Our interpretation of opportunities,    we saw opportunities in work, we saw a naive mentality, we saw  our rights without the obligations, we saw possibilities to  manipulate the system, we saw people getting money without working, we saw  by lying we could get even more money out of the system.

What we achieved, as the time passed the children grew older, fathers became stricter especially to their daughters. Education was good as long it did not conflicted with our norms and values. The children grew the marriages were conducted from back home. The connection was stronger with back home than with here, here was just a means to get to our goal.TP 162 great britain

We achieved respect of a rich man back home, we constructed big houses back home by living poorly here. The ego was ever present among all of us, we bragged about everything we could put our hands on. We were the people who did not have normal sanitary facilities back home, we were the people still using wooden tablets to write on, we were the people still using wood to make fire. We came from a country which could not provide us of the facilities which we enjoyed here. With this poor mentality we still achieved to educate our children to a high degree. Our children started working in high positions, the new generation started losing touch with back home, they started marrying to their own liking. Norm and values from back home become less present among them, they started to become a copy of the original, but copy become blurry and lacked the authenticity of the original.

A brief history of our life’s.

 

 

 

Tiger Philosophy lesson 161:Pir-E-Kamil – پیر کامل

Pir-E-Kamil is an Urdu novel. A good friend insisted that I should read this novel, that i would enjoy reading it, and i really did.

The storPeer-e-Kamily is about 2 main characters, Imama Hasim who is a very   religious person converted from Ahmadiyya to Islam. Who is totally devoted to Islam and then  there is Salar Sikander a highly intelligent person, who sees no meaning or purpose in anything…

I enjoyed the writing style of the writer, it’s exciting to read this novel. The writer plays with different perspective of different characters on the same situations in a non-chronological order.  For instance she writes certain event from Imama’s perspective and the same situation from Salars’s perspective which gives you a full spectrum of feelings and thoughts present in a certain situation. In the beginning one cannot see the relationship between the main characters and why the writer is telling totally separate stories and how they relate to each other, but as the story progresses, you see the strong connection between the two.

Pir-e-Kamil

The story is about search for meaning in life choosing ones on path despite the adversaries. It is about contemplation on the actions and repenting on the mistakes on has made. Finding meaning in something which is greater than one self. There is a moral teaching in the story, the story makes more sense if you have the background of Pakistani culture, lot of things will seem odd or strange to non-Pakistani reader.

The fate and the chance are given a fair trial in the story. How to people, meet each other in the strangest situations, how their path depart from each other’s life, how they hold each other responsible for their misery, how they become each other’s perfect mentors and how fate or chance brings them together again in an unusual way. Where hate has turned into love, anger has converted in understanding and selfishness has made place for others.

There is an evolution in the character of Salar Sikander from godless person to godly person, which really pulls you into the story.

Although the main emphasis of the writer is put on Islam through the whole story. In my opinion the story is not so much about believing in Islam but worshipping in general in  something which is far greater than oneself. That could have been accomplished by any other means than religion and it would not have made any difference to the story.

 

 

Tiger Philosophy lesson 160: 2015 goals reviewed

doelen 2015I love this period of the year, it allows me to assess my hard work during the year. When we set goals we are in an orgasmic state. In that state there are no limits and everything is possible. It feels like the summer but when the winter comes with it’s hardships, every next step becomes havier and one falls down into the post orgasmic state. In which the fire and the desire are extinguished. We have to train our self to survive the winter with the knowledge  that the  summer is coming.

I would like to go through my own goals of 2015 and evaluate them goal by goal. It is interesting to see what mistakes I have made and what improvement can be done for 2016 goals.

I use the word SMART which stands for (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant,Time-bound)

Personal development:
    1.  MCSE certification (not achieved), no clear study material from Microsoft to learn from.
  1. Webb & app Development (not achieved), with my new job and the amount of time needed to learn this, it was not realistic to achieve this in 2015.
  2. Read 12 books (partially achieved) I read 8 books this year, I was not specific enough which books to read, there is a big difference in reading Karl Marx or Harry Potter.
  3. Write 12 tiger philosophies (partially achieved), because I want them to be really good, I get into the never start syndrome.
  4. Finish the book IQ challenge (not achieved), takes too much time and not really a relevant goal.
Health:
  1. Run the Marathon of Amsterdam 42km (achieved), it was hard work.
  2. Train at least 2 times fitness and 2 times kickboxing every week, (partially achieved), this is not a SMART goal.
  3. Weight 70kg and body fat of 10% (not achieved), I was not disciplined enough to stick to my diet.

Relationship:

  1. Help my wife to pass her exams (not achieved), she hasn’t passed her exams yet.

  2. Send my wife to Pakistan for holiday (achieved).

  3. Keep visiting my family ones a week (partially achieved), not a SMART goal.

  4. Make my wife happiest women (partially achieved), not a SMART goal, difficult to measure 🙂

Carrier:
  1. Find a job as a Business intelligence developer (achieved).
  2. Earn salary of 5000 euro net (not achieved), I am confident I will next year.
  3. Start my own coaching company (not achieved), I have parked this goal, it is too much work at the moment in this  period of my life.
  4. Start a start-up with friends (not achieved), although we made a good effort to do so.
  5. Help friends to find a job (not achieved), although most of them are working now.
Spiritual:
  1. Pray 5 times a day (partially achieved), not disciplined enough.
  2. Go for 10 days to Vipassana mediation Kamp (not achieved), with the baby it was difficult to do that this year.
Financial:
  1. Pay of 10.000 euro of my 50.000 euro debt (achieved)
  2. Save 10.000 euro (achieved), I don’t have direct access to the money but it’s there.
  3. Help my wife to start a company (not achieved), not SMART enough.

I can look at this year and say, “so many goal  not achieved”,  or I can say, “I have run the full marathon, I have paid of 10000 euro of my debt, I have great job with good  perspectives and I am full of fire  to achieve my 2016 goals”.

Remember “Success requires no Explanation and failure permits no Alibis.

The question that arises, what is success?

Tiger Philosophy lesson 158: My first marathon!

tcs marathon 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

How was your marathon Saqib?
It was very tough but I am happy that it is over now.

What was so tough about it?
I prepared very well for the marathon, but during the actual run, my body started aching after 25 km. My legs started to heart my feet were sore, my body just did not wanted to proceed with running.

Any reason why that happened?
I think I trained mostly in the evenings and the actual run was very early in the morning, that had some affect, the weather was cold and rainy and that could also have some affect.

How long did you train for it?
I trained about 6 months seriously, for some it may be too short for others to long.

Why did you run this marathon?
It was always my dream to run the full marathon, I always had a big admiration for the people who could run the marathon.

What was the most difficult part in preparation for the marathon?
The most difficult part were the long runs, sometimes I was running for 3.5 hours, running so long is very boring.

What is the next goal?
I want to run the 10km under 40 minutes?

Good luck with that!
Thanks!

Tiger Philosophy lesson 157: How I deal with my stress?

Stress = one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium.

Stress happens when we feel things are out of our control. “Everybody” feels stress one time or another.I am shocked to have experienced the effects of stress on me during the recent years, how it affected my physiology and psychology.

Here are few indicators when I experience stress and how they affect me.

  • 1st  of all I notice stress clearly in my body as amplified sensations at center of my chest area, this focus of sensations can move to different body parts.
  • 2nd my breathing becomes shallow, I cannot take deep breaths out of my belly.
  • 3rd my awareness of my surrounding diminishes, I don’t notice things clearly anymore, I feel like a walking zombie.
  • 4th I am always thinking of the problem or the negative outcome of it.
  • 5th during my sleep I cannot turn off the thought process.
  • 6th I do not feel sensational pleasures in eating or interacting with others.
  • 7th I become more emotional.
  • 8th my problem solving capacity diminishes.
  • 9th I cannot see the problem in its proportion, every things is blown out of proportion, here a fly becomes an elephant.
  • 10th I don’t see that I have a problem but I am the problem is my experience.

These are certain indicators for me when I am experiencing stress. During the years I have developed techniques to create an immune systems against stress.  It is not to say that I am not affected by it, but I can resist stress in a manner that it does not disturbs my daily balance of life to easily. I can recognize the signals as soon as they starts to emerge.

Few methods which have worked for me in decreasing my stress level during the years.

  • 1st I start to focus on my breath, I take deep breath as often as possible during the day.
  • 2nd I try to be aware of my thought process.
  • 3rd I sit in silent places and observe everything which is happening in the body.
  • 4th My most valuable jewel is to keep on doing physical exercise even when I feel stressed, stress is a form of undesired energy, which can be exhausted   through intensive physical exercise , the more intense and long the exercise the better.
  • 5th Experimenting with breath, holding the breath, berating in fast ritthem, hyperventilating, looking for a way which helps me in that moment.
  • 6th squeezing  the  muscle in my body as intense and long as possible, focusing specially on the eyes, jaws, hands and feet’s, after squeezing releasing the tension.
  • 7th taking long cold showers, you may find it funny, but during those shock moment of the body you have to regulate your berating in that stress moment.
  • 8th describing the stress and anxiety in detail, it gives a good insight into the cause of stress.
  • 9th having good hard conversation with your stress, treat it as you are talking to a person.
  • 10th talking to friends, describing your stress to them, creating this vulnerability, opening up yourself, has a very power full healing effect.

These are few examples, what can help in stressful situations, stress can come from time to time, but it should never become our life ally.

 

 

 

 

 

Tiger Philosophy lesson 156:The self-importance

A question was revealed to me, “What value does your live has?”  After reviewing this question, I was shocked by the self-importance, self-centered nature of the question.

The best answer I could think of was, Perhaps continuation of my gene pool to the next generation, protecting and taking care of the people who are dependent of me, sustaining the system which contributes to my self-centered and self-importance need.

This self-importance paradigm Leeds to a mismatch how I perceive myself and how I am perceived by others. My life may or may not have any value of itself. The value is created by the perception of people whose life is affected by mine, there investment in me, perhaps because that adds up to their projection of self-importance in the world.

Tiger Philosophy lesson 155: When do I feel the need to write Tiger Philosophy?

I cannot write tiger philosophy when I am happy or content.  To write tiger philosophy I have to go through a process of catharsis. The fertilization takes place at the meeting with sadness, the pregnancy is  the result  and the birth is the final philosophy.  The process is intense, the meeting is frightening. The pregnancy brings her own risks of not being able to cope with intense mental effort which can leed to a miscarriage.

I write this because I am pregnant of my philosophy not ready to deliver but in process of.  Hence the pregnancy is my savvier, I would suffocate from loneliness if I had not met my sadness.

Tiger Philosophy lesson 154: My weekly sermon to my loyal audience!

Winnie The Pooh

The Speaker : Listen carefully Winnie, today I will preach about something very close to my heart. To which I have a love and hate affair, to which I bestow insanity and achievement, that which is the cause and is the one responsible, which separates achievers from the beggars, the conqueror from the slave men, that which enlightens a flame in us that which burns us to the ground, that which is  birth right to all, that which is applicable to none, that which makes us jump out of  deep sleep that which is responsible for an absence of peace, that which can be a creative entity, that which can be a final destruction.

That which is forbidden by those who know, that which is craved by those in search, that which is sweet till it is sweet no more, that which creates and leads  to decay.

Audience : Soon Sheep the Fluffy joined the audience.Winnie & Sheep

The Speaker :  That which is terrifying near, that which is formidably hidden, a jewel to cut through all obstacles, but too rigid to make something beautiful. That which you can reach without permission but cannot achieve without tremendous effort.

OH my ugly beauty how I shall describe you, you sound as recitation from a wholly book and sometime a prayer to the devil. You accept no, No for an answer, yet you never come to a final conclusion. What is said is wrong about you, what is preached is wrong about you, yet one cannot say right about you one cannot preach wrong about you.

Audience: Mickey the mouse was attracted by the crowd and joined the meeting.The Audience

The Speaker :  One may respect you, one may despise you, one may abide you one may reside next to you. One may listen to you in deep silence one may think about you in deep impact. You cut from both edges, you are friend to none and an enemy to no one, you demand the respect of good and bad, you are the loving quality of god and a hidden weapon of the devil. You are like the toxic air, not breathing will cause death, and breathing you will end to a similar result. You are our greatest need, you will be our greatest enemy.

You are absorption of light, which will leads us to the darkness. I choose not to live without you. To you I feel my responsibility to you I own my strength to you I give second authority, without you I would be a plant, a flee just a blowing of time.

Audience: The youngest member entered the scene with a childlike curiosity.

The smallest memeber

Not everything I say makes sense my audience, there can be some sentences which could express a certain meaning in there context. But don’t for a moment think or accept that which I am saying or referring to you makes any sense. All I am doing is laying one brick on top of the next, without any plan, without any design. The construction may not be of any practical application, it may or may not be of any strengt, but it will be something worth looking at, that much I can guarantee not even that actually I can guarantee.

Charlie Chaplin, “When I Started Loving Myself”

When I Started Loving Myself” – A Poem By Charlie Chaplin Written On His 70th Birthday On April 16, 1959:

When I Started Loving Myself
I Understood That I’m Always And At Any Given Opportunity
In The Right Place At The Right Time.
And I Understood That All That Happens Is Right –
From Then On I Could Be Calm.
Today I Know: It’s Called TRUST.

When I Started To Love Myself I Understood How Much It Can Offend Somebody
When I Tried To Force My Desires On This Person,
Even Though I Knew The Time Is Not Right And The Person Was Not Ready For It,
And Even Though This Person Was Me.
Today I Know: It’s Called LETTING GO

When I Started Loving Myself
I Could Recognize That Emotional Pain And Grief
Are Just Warnings For Me To Not Live Against My Own Truth.
Today I Know: It’s Called AUTHENTICALLY BEING.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Stopped Longing For Another Life
And Could See That Everything Around Me Was A Request To Grow.
Today I Know: It’s Called MATURITY.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Stopped Depriving Myself Of My Free Time
And Stopped Sketching Further Magnificent Projects For The Future.
Today I Only Do What’s Fun And Joy For Me,
What I Love And What Makes My Heart Laugh,
In My Own Way And In My Tempo.
Today I Know: It’s Called HONESTY.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Escaped From All What Wasn’t Healthy For Me,
From Dishes, People, Things, Situations
And From Everyhting Pulling Me Down And Away From Myself.
In The Beginning I Called It The “Healthy Egoism”,
But Today I Know: It’s Called SELF-LOVE.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Stopped Wanting To Be Always Right
Thus I’ve Been Less Wrong.
Today I’ve Recognized: It’s Called HUMBLENESS.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Refused To Live Further In The Past
And Worry About My Future.
Now I Live Only At This Moment Where EVERYTHING Takes Place,
Like This I Live Every Day And I Call It CONSCIOUSNESS.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Recognized, That My Thinking
Can Make Me Miserable And Sick.
When I Requested For My Heart Forces,
My Mind Got An Important Partner.
Today I Call This Connection HEART WISDOM.

We Do Not Need To Fear Further Discussions,
Conflicts And Problems With Ourselves And Others
Since Even Stars Sometimes Bang On Each Other
And Create New Worlds.
Today I Know: THIS IS LIFE!

************ In Dutch

TOEN IK MEZELF BEGON LIEF TE HEBBEN

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben,
kon ik zien dat emotionele pijn en lijden alleen waarschuwingen zijn,
dat ik niet mijn eigen waarheid leef.
Nu weet ik: dat is AUTHENTICITEIT

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben,
begreep ik hoezeer het iemand kan beledigen als ik probeer mijn verlangen bij hem door te drukken
zelfs als ik wist dat de tijd er niet rijp[ voor was en de persoon er niet klaar voor was
en zelfs als ikzelf die persoon was
Nu weet ik : dat is RESPECT

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben,
ben ik gestopt te verlangen naar een ander leven
en kon ik zien dat alles rond om mij een uitnodiging is om te groeien.
Nu weet ik, dat is RIJPHEID.

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben,
begreep ik dat ik altijd en bij elke gelegenheid,
op het juiste moment en op de juiste plaats ben,
en dat alles wat er gebeurt, juist is.
Vanaf dat moment was ik rustig.
Nu weet ik: dat is VERTROUWEN.

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben,
ben ik gestopt mijn vrije tijd te verspillen
en ben ik gestopt grootse projecten voor de toekomst te bedenken.
Vandaag de dag doe ik alleen dat waar ik blij van wordt,
waarvan ik hou en wat mijn hart doet lachen,
op mijn eigen manier en in mijn tempo.
Nu weet ik: dat is EENVOUD

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben,
heb ik me bevrijd van alles wat niet gezond voor me is,
voedsel, mensen, dingen, situaties
en vooral wat me naar beneden haalde, weg van mijzelf.
Aanvankelijk noemde ik het “gezond egoïsme”
maar nu weet ik: dat is LIEFDE VOOR JEZELF

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben,
stopte ik met proberen om altijd gelijk te hebben
en sindsdien had ik minder vaak ongelijk.
Vandaag heb ik ontdekt : dat is BESCHEIDENHEID

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben,
weigerde ik om verder in het verleden te leven
en weigerde ik mij om me zorgen te maken over mijn toekomst.
Nu leef ik alleen op dit moment, waar alles plaats vind.
Ik leef nu dus „dag voor dag” en noem het VERVULLING

Toen ik mezelf begon lief te hebben
herkende ik dat mijn denken me kan verstoren en me ziek kan maken.
Maar als ik verbinding maak met mijn hart, wordt mijn denken een waardevolle bondgenoot.
Vandaag noem ik die verbinding : WIJSHEID VAN HET HART

We hoeven niet bang te zijn voor verdere discussies, conflicten
en problemen met onszelf en anderen,
want zelfs sterren botsen soms op elkaar
en daaruit ontstaan nieuwe werelden.
Vandaag weet ik: dat is LEVEN