One of the most beautiful things in Asian (Pakistani) culture i admire is how our social structure is build and how our doors are always open for our friends and family.
I was surprised and shocked when I heard for the first time that there are people who make a appointment before visiting their parents or family.
I have never done that, whenever I go to my parents or my sister the door is open for me and the food is always waiting for me. This is also with the rest of my social structure. I just call and go without any appointments.
I love this, it is a very warm gesture. When we as modern Pakistanis lose this cultural treat, we are losing something very valuable in us.
Just now in the train a girl started talking to me. She asked about my job and asked if i liked my job. I said i dont like it. she said why do you do it, i said to pay the bills. She said are u happy with your life then, i said from scale one to 10, i would give it a 5. She said how come, i said i am hard to get even for luck. She said,what would make u really happy now, what i really was thinking i did not say to her of course, so i said the second most honest thing. I said, if i could watch a good science fiction movie like alien 2 that would increase my happines from 5 to 5.5. She looked at me penetratingly and saw that i was serieus about what i was saying. Now her ears where ready to listen, thus i spoke.
What are you thinking Saqib?
Why have I not been successful !
Do you think you are not successful?
I don’t know, I can definitely say this about my professional career. I have not booked much progress sins I graduated! I do whatever I have to do in a good way, but it is never at the same standard I set for my personal life.
I have occupied myself for a too long time with not relevant questions. Even though I am very ambitious, focused and determined , I have not been able to put these qualities in my professional life. Too busy in my own quest..
A quest in what?
In finding truth, moksha, virtue, god, beauty meaning for life. I am not so much interested in these things any more.
Why, have you found the answers?
No, I threw these question down the drain. It is not that I found the answers, but I eliminated the questions.
I will put all my energy and my strongest qualities in coming 10 years in my professional/business life.
What will happen then?
Then they will fear me!
What are u thinking?
Why are u thinking that?
I guess because i care!
Will it make any difference?
I guess not!
Because I care!
What are u thinking?
that I am almost working for 14 hours continuously now and still going strong.
My boses should appreciate a employee like me they should praise to lord for me. They should treat me like a king, pay me like a celebrity carry me on there hands and kiss my feets continuously.
But unfortunetly the reality is little different, they treat me like shit, they pay me not even enough to buy a normal bed and a tv. The only thing they will notice tomorrow if I die today is a empty chair and in stead of they kissing my feets I have to kiss there asses continuously.
Ahh what the heck still going strong!
What are u thinking?
I am thinking that i want to buy a nice big couch and a big tv, because i love to watch movies in a comfortable way.
Then again i dont have the money to buy. i will borrow or take a loan to buy what i want. So if i really think about this, i will buy something which will make me happy but at the same time i am becoming in dept of sombody and losing my freedom. Now i have to work even harder to pay of the debts.
This is the system we are living in. We want to buy things which make us happy and that is good for the economy, but at the same time we are losing our freedom because we have to pay of the debts by working even harder, which takes our happiness away from us.
It is a vicious circle. We cant stop buying because that will destroy our economy and our happiness. But if we keep buying we lose our freedom.
It has something of modern time slavery in it.
Do you know how many people in my life have said to me, “DON’T THINK SO MUCH”! Hmmm that makes me think again about this whole situation 🙂
In the Sauna:
Dutch man to Marokish guy: Tjonge Tjonge is it that hard to take your close of when going to the Sauna
Marokkish guy : I don’t want other man to look at my private part and get exited
In the gym:
Me to a guy: How is life?
The guy answering : Life goes on, so we go on! ( in Dutch it is more funny)
Outside the super market:
south American guys made some remark “he beautiful” to a Marokish girl, she was very pretty.
Maroksih girl giving lecture back to the guys: This all is test for you guys if you can control yourself then you will enjoy the bounties in the haven.
To which replied Spinoza!
What are u thinking Saqib?
I see in your eyes you are troubled by something.
There is a thought going through my head, It’s resonating like an ocean wave in my mind.
What thought, what is it?
“Liberation from freedom”!
Pffuuuh, that is deep, does it have any meaning or are they just pretty sounding words arranged in a philosophical context?
Yes I guess you’re right.
What do you MEAN, “I am right?”.
That they are most probably pretty sounding words arranged in philosophical context.
What are you thinking today Saqib , before you start I want to remind you that it is already very late and bye the way what do you think of my outfit?
I like your glasses.
But they are the same as always.
Still I like them. I have these visions in my mind, flashing evaporating like clouds of smoke.
Oh there we go again, like you changing the world in your superman outfit?
Ending the poverty of the world?
Ending corruption in the world?
Eradicating hate and fear in the hearts of men?
These visions are different.
Have you been using drugs again?
You know you got very light headed last time you used your mushroom salad to experiment with higher realms, you started crying like a baby.
This is different it is more permanent, it is nothing I have experienced before.
Saqib why are you always wasting my time.
Because I have nobody with whom I can communicate anymore, there is a dialog but no communication.
You do realize that I am just a dressed up candle, shall I just do what I do the best.
Perhaps that is the best…
Saqib can I ask you a question?
Yes my cauliflower, I am quit hungry though.
I will keep it short, do you remember our last conversation? You talked about ambition. You were quite negative about ambition itself, I am disturbed by that thought.
I was disturbed as well when I heard this for the first time, but the more I think about my own ambition the more I realize it is a deep inferiority complex in me which has a tremendous need to show to the world look how great I am. Don’t get me wrong this is the answer I can only find for myself after a deep investigation into myself.
Can there be then no ambition without inferiority complex, I am sure that there is and that it is valid for many out there. But all I can say for myself, I see no other deeper motivation for myself to be ambitious then to show to the world look I am better than you think of me, I am not a nobody.
Hmm perhaps If I had more time we could have discussed more in depth, bon appetite Saqib
Habits to be changed. Challenge of the week. For 10 days there must be no negativity created in form of, anger, ill feelings or negative thoughts. So what ever happens, there must be a silent observation of the chaos around you with out any reaction or judgment.
It will be difficult, but nothing worth of appreciating in life comes for free.
Who is participating in this 10 day marathon of positive attitude with me?
It is very strange but suffering of some, gives great pleasure to me!
De dag verga, waarin ik geboren ben, en de nacht, waarin men zeide: Een knechtje is ontvangen;
Diezelve dag zij duisternis; dat God naar hem niet vrage van boven; en dat geen glans over hem schijne;
Dat de duisternis en des doods schaduw hem verontreinigen; dat wolken over hem wonen; dat hem verschrikken de zwarte dampen des dags!
Diezelve nacht, donkerheid neme hem in; dat hij zich niet verheuge onder de dagen des jaars; dat hij in het getal der maanden niet kome!
Ziet, diezelve nacht zij eenzaam; dat geen vrolijk gezang daarin kome;
Dat hem vervloeken de vervloekers des dags, die bereid zijn hun rouw te verwekken;
Dat de sterren van zijn schemertijd verduisterd worden; hij wachte naar het licht, en het worde niet; en hij zie niet de oogleden des dageraads!
Omdat hij niet toegesloten heeft de deuren mijns buiks, noch verborgen de moeite van mijn ogen.
Waarom ben ik niet gestorven van de baarmoeder af, en heb den geest gegeven, als ik uit den buik voortkwam?
Waarom zijn mij de knieen voorgekomen, en waartoe de borsten, opdat ik zuigen zou?
Want nu zou ik nederliggen, en stil zijn; ik zou slapen, dan zou voor mij rust wezen;
Met de koningen en raadsheren der aarde, die voor zich woeste plaatsen bebouwden;
Of met de vorsten, die goud hadden, die hun huizen met zilver vervulden.
Of als een verborgene misdracht, zou ik niet zijn; als de kinderkens, die het licht niet gezien hebben.
Daar houden de bozen op van beroering, en daar rusten de vermoeiden van kracht;
Daar zijn de gebondenen te zamen in rust; zij horen de stem des drijvers niet.
De kleine en de grote is daar; en de knecht vrij van zijn heer.
Waarom geeft Hij den ellendigen het licht, en het leven den bitterlijk bedroefden van gemoed?
Die verlangen naar den dood, maar hij is er niet; en graven daarnaar meer dan naar verborgene schatten;
Die blijde zijn tot opspringens toe, en zich verheugen, als zij het graf vinden;
Aan den man, wiens weg verborgen is, en dien God overdekt heeft?
Want voor mijn brood komt mijn zuchting; en mijn brullingen worden uitgestort als water.
Want ik vreesde een vreze, en zij is mij aangekomen; en wat ik schroomde, is mij overkomen.
Ik was niet gerust; en was niet stil, en rustte niet; en de beroering is gekomen.
Today i learned that I can learn to unlearn that which is in my way of learning! The paradox of learning.
So there were two moments in my life, one was called the past other the future. One day the master appeard to teach me the secret. He asked, “are you ready?”. “I am not sure”, I replied, and the master disapeard. The tiger Sadness.
Everything i have experienced i have not gained but lost to THE past. The tiger dilemma
The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.
There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio!
Too damned badly hurt to laugh and to damned proud to cry!
For every ten coins thou placest within thy purse take out for use but nine. Thy purse will start to fatten at once and it increasing weight will feel good in thy hand and bring satisfaction to thy soul.
3. Wat je vooruit schuift blijft je achter volgen!
2. Nood breekt wet!
1. de dood geneest iedere ziekte!
4. I have lived to long and seen to much (wolverine)
Ouders van de vrijheid:
Net als jij ben ik geboren van een vader en moeder. Mijn moeder heet Fatsoen en mijn vader Verantwoordelijkheid. (quaote in metro)!
Run towards your fears, behind your fear lies something safe and beautiful!
Do two things a day which you don’t want to do, this will enhance your character!
“Failure is success if you learn from it.” As long as you’re learning
from it, you’ll improve. As long as you improve, failure becomes
gradually less likely while the chances of success become much higher.
How can I be touched by something so traditional which is so alien to me? It touches me to an extent that I have no explanation for it. I have lived my whole life in a foreign country. Majority of my time I have spent outside my own people. My activities never represented any of our cultural elements. I never liked anything traditional. In that regard I have always praised the western way of living over ours. I liked their movies, I liked their music, I liked their way of thinking I admired them whole heartedly.
In short there is not much which binds me to my own roots. I can’t escape the colour of my skin nor my background. But emotionally and mentally I never had any strings attached to the country I was born in. I can’t even write my name in my language anymore. I have never been interested in what was happening there, I never followed any news or participated in any activities relevant or important to my country.
There was even time I used to say to people specially to girls that I was from Italy, I was ashamed of saying the truth.
Even the physical appearances of my country men I never liked. We are short, hairy, dark and with no characteristics which stand out compared to others.
In 30 years I have been back only 3 times and I have no intention of going back there.
Having said all this and yet there is nothing what touches my soul the way our folk music does, nothing brings me to deeper trance of tears then the simple words song in my mother language.
There is a struggle waging between religion and science. Both parties are convinced of their stand point in what is important in life.
What I find most disturbing is the effort which is put in to disapproving each other with cunning arguments and weak facts.
In religious circle there is a trend to validate religion by scientific studies. It feels like religion has to find shelter under the umbrella of science to feel congruent with what religion is preaching. I find religion such an immense entity that no science need or can shelter it.
Yet in every religion there are very intelligent spokesman to defend the religion from “outsiders”. These people have extra ordinary knowledge, intelligence and power of persuasion. Spokesman can be important to clarify difficulties in misinterpretations and misunderstandings. There explanation most of the time do not add anything to the real message. The scary part is how they can twist and bend arguments to win their case. They have become so efficient in persuading us even before we had the chance to think about what is said.
My personal philosophy is that there are somethings which other people needs to teach us and there are some teachings which come from within. I need to learn mathematics from somebody but I do not need to learn how to love, that is inside me. Religion I hold also at that highest state where everything I need to understand is in me, nobody else need to explain anything to me.
The statements which are being made, that all the answer to science are hidden in the religious books, we just need to decode them and unlock the answers. This is what I mean by misleading arguments, we cannot deny them, because then we become sinners. If we accept them then we are not true to our self.
So what about the scientific community, what are they doing? Scientific community has an arrogance of knowing. For them everything is crystal clear it is just others can’t see it yet.
We feel this relationship with the one that is there. Science may prove it by evolution theory or by mathematics what/why/how we feel what we feel about religion. Despite all the explanations and arguments it will not change anything on that matter, because it is knowing from within. Religion is as much part of me as I am to myself, the one exists for me because I exists.
I have encountered many situations where I had to rethink what a good friendship means. Often we see friendships, like sinking ships. The arise, the promise to be Titanic, and they are destined to become Titanic. Great friendships require a great personality, friendship is an understanding among kings not the beggars.
There is a traditional way of thinking about friendship and there is modern way of thinking about friendship. Traditional way is idealistic of nature modern way of friendship is value oriented. Somehow instinctively we know when a friendship is a good friendship regardless of the area it is in.
Sometime friendship seems like a prostitutional contract between two “people”. During our life we meet many people, we leave and we forget those people. I love this saying in Dutch (uit het oog uit het hart) out of sight out of heart. It implies something about the human nature, and the nature of men is egoistic. If it is not of any use it is not of any interest.
What friendship is not for me, it is not a social club, it is not filling the empty gaps, it is not your psychiatrist, it is not your entertainment plan, it is not extension of your strength, it is not protection from the evil, it is not a door to success, and it is not your personal 911 number.
If I cannot define what friendship is how can I determine what a good friend is then? That is to say if we do not know the variable x we cannot search for the value of y in an equation.
What characterizes a good friend?
He is authentic
His actions are louder than his words
He is trust worthy
He does not keep a log file of his favours
He will do anything for you yet he will feel he has not done enough
He wishes the best for you
He is a brother to you
He will support you
He will stop you
He will listen to you
He knows your strength
He knows your weaknesses
He is not jealous of you
He loves you
What is a not a good friend?
He is not authentic
His actions are not louder than his words
He is not trust worthy
He keeps a log file of his favours
He always feel that he has done more than enough for you
He does not wishes the best for you
He is not a brother to you
He will not support you
He will not stop you
He will not listen to you
He knows not your strength
He knows not your weaknesses
He is jealous of you
He does not love you
Are there some guidelines which hinder us in creating good friendships?
Real friendship requires a deep trust in each other and we don’t trust each other.
Real friendship requires respect for each other and we don’t respect each other.
Real friendship requires well wishes for each other and we often are jealous of each other.
Real friendship is adding value we often want to distract value.
Real friendship is understanding first we often give advice first.
Real friendship is accepting ones flaws we like to judge our friends.
Real friendship is sitting silently next to each other we feel awkward in silence.
Real friendship is being there in need we often chose the fun moments.
Real friendship requires a great investment first we want to cash out to soon.
Real friendship is to be honest we often like to please.
Why we stop being good friends?
We grow apart from each other.
We develop different philosophies from each other.
We do not see each other equal in friendship.
We do not add value to friendship.
We give more importance to our self then to other.
We are not tolerant.
We are lazy, great friendship requires high energy level, lazy people in my eyes cannot invest that energy in good friendships.
Our ego is bigger than our friendship.
Forcing the other to go against his will.
The question arises, am I a good friend?
A person who is a friend to all is a friend to none.
We all want to have the best friend but nobody is willing to become one.
I truly cannot answer for myself if I have been a good friend, all I can say of myself I am trying……..
Hypotheekvrij is a nice read written by a Dutch writer Gerhard Hormann. This book demystifies lot of claims made around the housing market. Claims like house is always a good investment, house is not a debt but an investment, people who are paying off their mortgage are thieves of their own pocket.
If we look around us we see lot of people as victims of those investments. People bought bigger houses then they could afford some even bought bigger second house. Everybody was living in the bubble, the sun was shining 24/7 and suddenly the sun stopped shining. After the burst of the big bubble, the whole housing market collapsed, the value of the houses dropped far below the mortgage value. That meant beside the house being an investment it was an extra debt on top of the mortgage.
Out of this book I was expecting to get a good understanding of the mortgage system and clever tricks to pay off the mortgage as soon as possible.
Instead Gerhard talks little about the technical side of mortgages. His main focus is on increasing ones financial IQ, changing ones way of thinking and the lifestyle one is living. Saving and minimalistic living are the key words in this book. The key strategy is to use the savings to get rid of the mortgages as soon as possible. Living without debt has not only financial benefits but brings in place an experience of authentic freedom. Gerhard argues, “when we live simply, our cost go down, less money is needed, work becomes less importan and our free time increases to enjoy our live”.
Those who are involved in software development projects, either are working or have heard of Agile/Scrum methodology. Traditionally software development was done through waterfall method. Waterfall method demands a detail definition of requirements. In majority of cases the details and obstacles of developing a software are not known in advance.
The agile method takes the uncertainty principle into consideration. It recognizes the uncertainty in the requirements/obstacles/insights which are not thoroughly thought through. With this agile thinking a new method (Scrum) was developed by Ken Schawber. Scrum divides the team in three roles, the product owner who wants something, the development team which creates that something and the scrum master, who make sure that everything goes well in the process of wanting and creating of that something.
In Scrum short sprint of 30 days are defined, in which certain work according to the priority of the product owner must be realized. After each sprint demonstration of the developed work has to be given to the product owner.
Advantage of Scrum are short lines between the product owner and development team. New functionalities are delivered in every sprint, after each sprint new decisions can be made according to the result, need and the situation at that moment.