Stress = one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium.
Stress happens when we feel things are out of our control. “Everybody” feels stress one time or another.I am shocked to have experienced the effects of stress on me during the recent years, how it affected my physiology and psychology.
Here are few indicators when I experience stress and how they affect me.
- 1st of all I notice stress clearly in my body as amplified sensations at center of my chest area, this focus of sensations can move to different body parts.
- 2nd my breathing becomes shallow, I cannot take deep breaths out of my belly.
- 3rd my awareness of my surrounding diminishes, I don’t notice things clearly anymore, I feel like a walking zombie.
- 4th I am always thinking of the problem or the negative outcome of it.
- 5th during my sleep I cannot turn off the thought process.
- 6th I do not feel sensational pleasures in eating or interacting with others.
- 7th I become more emotional.
- 8th my problem solving capacity diminishes.
- 9th I cannot see the problem in its proportion, every things is blown out of proportion, here a fly becomes an elephant.
- 10th I don’t see that I have a problem but I am the problem is my experience.
These are certain indicators for me when I am experiencing stress. During the years I have developed techniques to create an immune systems against stress. It is not to say that I am not affected by it, but I can resist stress in a manner that it does not disturbs my daily balance of life to easily. I can recognize the signals as soon as they starts to emerge.
Few methods which have worked for me in decreasing my stress level during the years.
- 1st I start to focus on my breath, I take deep breath as often as possible during the day.
- 2nd I try to be aware of my thought process.
- 3rd I sit in silent places and observe everything which is happening in the body.
- 4th My most valuable jewel is to keep on doing physical exercise even when I feel stressed, stress is a form of undesired energy, which can be exhausted through intensive physical exercise , the more intense and long the exercise the better.
- 5th Experimenting with breath, holding the breath, berating in fast ritthem, hyperventilating, looking for a way which helps me in that moment.
- 6th squeezing the muscle in my body as intense and long as possible, focusing specially on the eyes, jaws, hands and feet’s, after squeezing releasing the tension.
- 7th taking long cold showers, you may find it funny, but during those shock moment of the body you have to regulate your berating in that stress moment.
- 8th describing the stress and anxiety in detail, it gives a good insight into the cause of stress.
- 9th having good hard conversation with your stress, treat it as you are talking to a person.
- 10th talking to friends, describing your stress to them, creating this vulnerability, opening up yourself, has a very power full healing effect.
These are few examples, what can help in stressful situations, stress can come from time to time, but it should never become our life ally.
A question was revealed to me, “What value does your live has?” After reviewing this question, I was shocked by the self-importance, self-centered nature of the question.
The best answer I could think of was, Perhaps continuation of my gene pool to the next generation, protecting and taking care of the people who are dependent of me, sustaining the system which contributes to my self-centered and self-importance need.
This self-importance paradigm Leeds to a mismatch how I perceive myself and how I am perceived by others. My life may or may not have any value of itself. The value is created by the perception of people whose life is affected by mine, there investment in me, perhaps because that adds up to their projection of self-importance in the world.
I cannot write tiger philosophy when I am happy or content. To write tiger philosophy I have to go through a process of catharsis. The fertilization takes place at the meeting with sadness, the pregnancy is the result and the birth is the final philosophy. The process is intense, the meeting is frightening. The pregnancy brings her own risks of not being able to cope with intense mental effort which can leed to a miscarriage.
I write this because I am pregnant of my philosophy not ready to deliver but in process of. Hence the pregnancy is my savvier, I would suffocate from loneliness if I had not met my sadness.
The Speaker : Listen carefully Winnie, today I will preach about something very close to my heart. To which I have a love and hate affair, to which I bestow insanity and achievement, that which is the cause and is the one responsible, which separates achievers from the beggars, the conqueror from the slave men, that which enlightens a flame in us that which burns us to the ground, that which is birth right to all, that which is applicable to none, that which makes us jump out of deep sleep that which is responsible for an absence of peace, that which can be a creative entity, that which can be a final destruction.
That which is forbidden by those who know, that which is craved by those in search, that which is sweet till it is sweet no more, that which creates and leads to decay.
The Speaker : That which is terrifying near, that which is formidably hidden, a jewel to cut through all obstacles, but too rigid to make something beautiful. That which you can reach without permission but cannot achieve without tremendous effort.
OH my ugly beauty how I shall describe you, you sound as recitation from a wholly book and sometime a prayer to the devil. You accept no, No for an answer, yet you never come to a final conclusion. What is said is wrong about you, what is preached is wrong about you, yet one cannot say right about you one cannot preach wrong about you.
Audience: Mickey the mouse was attracted by the crowd and joined the meeting.
The Speaker : One may respect you, one may despise you, one may abide you one may reside next to you. One may listen to you in deep silence one may think about you in deep impact. You cut from both edges, you are friend to none and an enemy to no one, you demand the respect of good and bad, you are the loving quality of god and a hidden weapon of the devil. You are like the toxic air, not breathing will cause death, and breathing you will end to a similar result. You are our greatest need, you will be our greatest enemy.
You are absorption of light, which will leads us to the darkness. I choose not to live without you. To you I feel my responsibility to you I own my strength to you I give second authority, without you I would be a plant, a flee just a blowing of time.
Audience: The youngest member entered the scene with a childlike curiosity.
Not everything I say makes sense my audience, there can be some sentences which could express a certain meaning in there context. But don’t for a moment think or accept that which I am saying or referring to you makes any sense. All I am doing is laying one brick on top of the next, without any plan, without any design. The construction may not be of any practical application, it may or may not be of any strengt, but it will be something worth looking at, that much I can guarantee not even that actually I can guarantee.
We have some great challenges ahead of us, some of us will look at these challenges seriously others may shy away from them. One thing is certain we cannot deny the existence of these challenges.
Increasing traffic is one of those challenges which is responsible for pollution, burning of valuable resources and indirectly influencing are physical en mental health.
There are no good alternatives offered to us which could substitute cars. Public transportation systems are very expensive and not convenient. Most of the time they are difficult to reach, uncomfortable, unreliable and crowded.
We love and need to travel, we don’t necessarily want to create more pollution during our journeys. One important solution for solving traffic challenge could be to, “Provide totally free, fully automated, highly efficient, first class experience of PTS”.
Lot of new challenges will emerge in creating a fully free automated PTS. Question will arise like, who will be responsible for the costs? How will it affect the Car industry? Will our economy not collapse? There are many more of these type of questions which have to be addressed. As a wise man ones said, “We cannot solve major problems of our life at the same level of thinking in which we created them”. We need to think in new ways about, work, wages, profits, responsibilities, property, ownership, efficiency, future and our planet. When we stop looking at things in one way, other ways of looking at things will emerge.
First step is to agree upon that we need to make some sacrifices in old thinking for a better future. We will not accept solutions which are destroying our beautiful planet in front of our eyes. Car is and maybe will always stay a more convenient way of traveling, but at a certain point it is not just about being convenient but it becomes a matter of life and death we have to choose from.
Second step is to use state of the art technology to build a new universal PTS, which is highly intelligent and efficient in its design. Governments should set goals for their countries. “Every place throughout the countries should be reachable with PTS. Traveling with PTS will always result in faster and more comfortable journey”.
Third step will be the how to step. There are many innovative ideas for future PTS systems. Some are promising others are to experimental. The modern vehicles should be built to adopt instantly to the need of supply and demand. Intelligent software should acts as regulating agent for timetables, routes, size of vehicles, speed etc. Nothing should be fixed rather everything should be determined based on demand.
The PTS should also be used to transport cargo along with passengers, there should be no need to use separate trucks or trains to move common cargo.
I would have liked to see Dubai as a pioneer in new ways of traveling, they could have done much more beneficial work then only building higher buildings. They had the money and ambition to experiment with these new ideas.
A creative idea, still very limited in its design!
It feels strange to accuse Devdas, who has become our symbol of love as an advocate of hate! The more I think about Devdas the more his character starts to unveil his real nature. What I thought to be a beautiful truth appears to be an ugly lie. Parvati was never the great love of Devdas, she was rather a beautiful means towards his pathological goal.
Why would Parvati love Devdas so much, who has only written her 3 letters in 10 years. How gracefully she returns his ‘generous’ favor, by burning an oil lamp for 10 years in his long expectations. Is she not living in a fantasy by denying the reality in front of her? Holding to a picture of time long ago, barricading growth and waiting to be rescued.
How have they become symbols for love?
10 years have passed, the world has changed, everything has changed but they keep on holding to this blurry image of their youth.
The immature character of Devdas and Parvati manifest in many ways in their life. Parvati who is living under the psychological slavery of Devdas with her own consent and Devdas who has lived his whole live under the tyranny of his father. Like father like sun, Devdas enjoys tyrannizing the people who love him. When it comes to important decisions taking he withdraws himself from every form of responsibility. In the end he destroys a dream which was a fantasy which could have become a reality.
Despite Parvati’s childish behavior I can live with her, I have a deep respect for her patience and devotion towards Devdas. But with Devdas I cannot be so forgiving I have a personal vendetta with him. After deserting Parvati, his true nature comes in being. A pathological being craving for attention from others by inflicting pain to himself, a masochist of the highest degree. I would have been happy if he had left the scene after abandoning Parvati and never returning back. The innocence of Devdas is burning with desire to see his love ones in agony. Devdas has taken two vows, 1st vow “to drink till death separates him from life” and 2nd vow to visit Parvati’s house one time before dying. One vow is to make his own life miserable and other to ruin happiness of Parvati.
The entrance of Chandramukhi in Devdas live is again a confirmation of his tyranny. Chandramukhi who has accepted the misery of life, has accepted self-hate as love, has accepted love as means to power. Who chooses Devdas as her lover as her worshipper, because in Devdas she sees a person with greater self-hate then her own.
I don’t think that Devdas ever loved Parvati or cared about Chandramukhi, he loved pity he craved for attention which was nourished by a deep self-hate. He enjoyed every bit of that misery, every bit of pain and torment towards himself till the very end of his life.
The love of a masochist.
End note: Then a question arises, why I would care to write about Deva and Paro?
Mr. X when I was young, the world seemed a land of opportunities, an exciting and exhilarating place to live. I was in demand, the women loved me, people around loved me, I was successful and respected by everybody, I lived life to its fullest.
Nothing was impossible, the sky was the limit. I felt like I could drink poison and still survive, I could jump from a building and not scratch a dime anything I touched could turn into gold a flow of intense energy channeled through my veins.
Now I am old, and the same world seems a land of slavery, hostility and scary place to live in. Much I cannot handle anymore and many battles I cannot win anymore. My opponents are younger, faster, smarter and stronger then I am. My knowledge is outdated, my ideas are old and obsolete it seems that I don’t have much to give to the world anymore.
I was always the head of the family, like a stem of the tree, I was respected, loved, others where dependent of me. Now I am no more than a rotten apple, nobody needs me anymore, I feel useless!
Man wants to feel important, productive, he needs this sense of significance in his life which is driven by challenges he meets. I just don’t have the energy or the willpower anymore to go for that extra mile. My brain has slowed down, I don’t learn new things as easily as I used to and I don’t get excited about anything anymore. It is like the life juice has evaporated in me.
I have difficult time in accepting this reality. My first encounter with this reality was with my own sun. Suddenly he could solve problems faster and better then I could, physically he had grown stronger than me. Instead of me teaching him new things he started to teach me. I felt proud but mixed with jealousy, because I knew he was exalting while I was going downhill.
I never thought that one day I would get old, weak and sick and my life will decay in front of my own eyes. I never wanted to look at the whole spectrum of life. I focused only on the parts I enjoyed the most, that was when I was young strong and vigorous! Now I feel so alone, everybody I loved are dead or dying. Soon my turn is coming, I am entering the inevitable truth of life, the death!
Why is it that we get old and weak, why would our creator not make us in a way that we could stay young and healthy forever. Why does our creator want us to see suffer? Why did he create this circle of birth and death, and if so why did he gave us this conscience of perceiving this decaying? I don’t belive in god or a paradise after life, what is then there for me, or is life no more than random occurrences in this vast existence.
………………. I do not see any reason to be afraid Mr. Russell. My answer may shock you as your reasoning has shocked me. Once a friend said to me, “why do you think about your own death?” . “Doesn’t everybody”, I thought to myself.
In some sense you could say I died the moment I was born, when my parents bought a cradle for my birth they should have also bought a coffin as reminder of the inevitable truth. I have thought about every step of my life from the very beginning till the very end. How I will look, feel, think and what I will be doing when I am old. How I want the last day of my life to be, how I will pass from life into the death. Who will be there to cry for me, how I will be buried, which words will I or the other speak about me. Death will be the crescendo of my life. Not to have thought about this is to have neglected the most important thing in live.
Do you which me to proceed Mr. Russell?
I have always been fascinated by the X-Men. When I was about 10 years old, I would wake up 5 o’clock in the morning not to miss any sequel of the X-Men. These super mutants with their super powers where like a super fantasy for a young boy like me.
X-Men accept being an very exciting cartoon has many real life dimensions in it. Topics like discrimination, racism, political instability and danger for extremism are central themes in the X-Men. Like in the real world the characters in the X-Men suffer from identity crisis, inferiority complexes, guilt and shame. The mutants in the X-Men are divided into two groups, one group who want to live in pease, while the other craves on hate. One group sees hope in the future while the other envision only apocalypse.
During my study in the work of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King I encountered many similarities between these leaders and the leaders of the X-Men.
Charles Xavior and Martin Luther King, both where leaders who believed in the good of mankind. They had an idealistic view on life they believed in forgetting the past and looking at the future. They believed in non-violence by preserving their own identity. They believed in the system and tried to implement laws and rule which protected and supported there people (mutants and negro’s). They believed in integration and living in harmony with each other as the true path.
Malcolm X and Magneto, on the other hand were totally the opposite. They had tuff life from the very beginning. Malcolm X’s father was killed and there house burned by the Ku Klux Clans. Magneto’s parents were executed in the Nazi camps during the second world war. There hearths where filled by fear and hate from the very beginning of there childhood. They had lost all their faith in the supreme powers. They believed profoundly, that the only solution was a complete segregation. Violence was the only answer to reach pease and total independence. They provoked their followers to get out of there inferiority complexes which where opposed on them. Not them but they are the superior raise and they must rule upon the whites and the non-mutants. Living in pease was not an option because there enemies will always hate what is different from them.
They fit so beautifully together in this picture, as I write this I see the struggle between good and bad they/we are trapped in.
The word Integration has become such a hype in the society we are living in that no political party dares to proceed without this point on their agenda.
First of all I am not saying that integration is not a valuable thing. I am not saying that speaking a language of a country does not open many possibilities. I am not saying by adopting to the environment one does not enhances ones chances of survival. I am not saying that respecting the culture we are living in isn‘t important. Yet there is something else happening, which is again and again neglected according to my understanding.
The parties who have put integration of foreigners as their highest priority on their agenda, have gotten the most support of the Dutch population. This says a lot about the thinking of a nation.
By looking carefully at the whole situation, my understanding is that the Dutch society has difficulty in accepting the foreign community as there equals. We are living in “civilized” times, it is very difficult to enslave, repress or send the foreigners back to their roots. NO that is not civilized. Although one strong crazy man, with charismatic personality and an evil mission can make everything possible even in a democratic and civilized societies. We are living in modern times, in modern time modern tools are needed to repress the minority and integration is the modern civilized tool.
Majority of the people who are pushing so much on integration, have never had real contact with the foreigners. There whole thinking is dominated by a prejudice handed over by other prejudiced minds who simply can’t bear foreigners as there equals. Some people say, this is the result of all the extremism which is happening around the world at the moment. I am not sure if that is the real case for such a strong support for these parties.
I guarantee you that if all the foreigners start speaking better language then the Dutch people, which is already starting to happen there still won’t be any integration. I guarantee you that if all the foreigners were made to lose their religion there still won’t be any integration. I guarantee you that if everything was done according to what the Dutch society demands of the foreigners there still won’t be any integration.
To understand this we must understand the psychology of the men, in this case the Dutch men. He does not want integration but segregation. Integration is a bidirectional process, if he accept that he has to lose himself in that process. He has to become equal in that process and he does not want to be equal. He has always seen himself superior towards others and has a deep rooted need to keep on seeing himself in the same way.
Many foreigners in there naïve behavior act like uncles Toms of the Dutch’s. They too have adopted this idea of integration. Their confidence and self-esteem is based on the approval of the Dutch men who evaluate their integration by how well they speak Dutch, how well they have adapted to the modern western thinking and culture. These uncles Toms rejoice on the alms which are given to them.
Again I am not saying that integration isn’t important!