I told my neighbor that I had climbed our roof to inspect for damage. I discovered that the leaves where blocking the rainwater from draining into the pipes. This was causing the water to leak in the house.
The first thing my neighbor said, “next time I will climb the roof and inspect it. This way we can divide the inspecting load equally among each other”. His statement did two things to me. First of all it made me conscious of Him and I and secondly it created a disappointment of short sidedness in me. This part of the Dutch-mentality I always had difficulty coping with.
What he communicated to me where two things. First of all he assumed that his inspecting the roof and sharing the burden will also be seen fair to me. His assuming shows a certain arrogance in his (Dutch) behavior. Secondly what he communicated was his conditional pattern thinking. You do this then I will do that, one time you clean next time I will clean, one time you help me next time I will help you, one time you pay next time I will pay. This behavior has become so much part of the Dutch-mentality that these principles are being applied to the most intimate relationships. You love me then I will love you, you give me this much I will give you so much. Nothing seems to be unconditional in the Dutch-mentality. Everything is weighed and calculated towards a perfect harmonious balance.
A average non Dutch-mentality person has difficulty in coping with this attitude. I see many non-Dutch’s, specially who are born here adopting this attitude which is in my opinion an degradation in values. Also I must express that I feel this attitude is responsible for major development of the Dutch society. it is a very effective working mechanism. It has provided the Dutch-mentality with lot of benefits, I wonder at what cost… ……………….??
For past 25 years I have lived with the Dutch people and tried to understand them. I think that I understand the Dutch-mentality better than the Dutch person understands himself. Because a healthy person will not try to figure out what is health. A happy person will not try to define what is happiness. A fish in the ocean will not search for water. The person who is in need will investigate.
My love for Dutch-mentality makes me say things about the Dutch culture. A Dutch person cannot appreciate the Dutch-mentality as much I can. A Dutch person cannot condemn other cultures as much I can. It is my love-hate relationship with this Dutch-mentality which provokes me to speak.